How to get through an emotional trigger

Triggers suck, we all know that. They are exhausting and show up like unwelcome guests who won’t leave. 

We often refer to a ‘trigger’ as an emotional state that is an unwelcome, uncomfortable state. This can happen daily or regularly for many. It’s a reactive state when an old wound has been activated by an external event.

We can experience intense emotions which can feel overwhelming and confusing. Anger, grief, and irritation are common with an overreaction of behaviour that feels dysregulated. 

How can we manage these triggered states?

Breathe

It doesn’t have to be anything too advanced, just in through the nose and out through the mouth. The out-breath is a little longer than the in-breath. Make a noise, like a heavy sigh on the out-breath.

You can also make the sound of ‘Vooooo’ for as long as you can. Both of these sounds help down-regulate the nervous system and bring it back to regulation. If you can’t make the sounds, it's okay, just do the breathing for as long as it feels good. Your poor wee nervous system will thank you for it.

Witness the ego

Have a look at what story/narrative you are running. Notice how much evidence you have that this story is true? These old stories and patterns are triggered from incomplete past events, they are no longer valid here in the present.

Get in the way of them and disturb them by looking at the facts, not what your emotional body is telling you. Be a witness, an observer to the story, removed from it. 

Self-Acceptance and Soothe

This is where you can give your emotional world the care it is asking for. Think of this as you being the parent who is soothing a small child in need of care.

You are taking care of the younger, wounded part of you with the care of your adult self. Allow yourself to feel the distress, stay with the breath. A hand on your heart and one on your belly can help.

Then simply allow yourself some compassion and care. Bring to your body a memory of a time when you felt or feel love and care. Consider a place or memory that feels really warm and nourishing. Allow yourself to be in this place, or create a new one.

You could say to yourself inwardly or outwardly ‘I am here’. Enjoy this adult part of you showing up to take care of the wounded child like part who needs care and attention. 

Use this, expand, and adapt whenever you feel the activation or the beginnings of the heat of a trigger in your body. Let it wash over, like a wave moving in and out of the ocean.

Finally, move on, enjoy the rest of your day. If that trigger always comes from the same place or person, it may be that you want to do some deeper work around this. For now, use this as your holiday emergency trigger kit!